Training

I have said numerous times that training a child isn't much different than training a dog.

And then, I read in this book that very same thing.

So, obviously I will be publishing a book on parenting in the near future. Check back for publication dates!

For starters, neither one comes out of the womb understanding the English language.

I know. That's a tough one to wrap your mind around. Take a moment.

You can yell 'down' to a dog all day long or your can throw Burger King at him in an attempt to teach him to leave you alone. But all you will accomplish is either teaching him to love Burger King or that the word 'down' really means 'hey, come have some flame broiled food.'

OR, you can yell 'here' to your toddler and watch as he gives you the sly grin just before he runs straight for the duck pond and an impromptu bath in duck waste.

And while we're at it lets talk about potty training.

When you let a toddler run around without a diaper while you go run bath water, and suddenly you realize you don't hear cars crashing anymore, you only hear silence....you will come back to find your 17 month old eating his own poop. And hear me on this one, DO NOT SCOOP HIM UP. Because he will only want to put his hands on your face and in your mouth.

Same is true for dogs. If you leave them alone long enough and you hear that dreaded extended silence...in all likelihood they are either chewing your Jimmy Choos or pooping in them. 

Just go ahead and get the bucket and the Resolve.

Probably the most common attribute between training dogs and toddlers is the mind numbing repetition.

Over and over saying 'bottom down' or counting numbers or singing 'old mac donald had a farm...ee i ee i oh.'

There are moments when you wonder if anything is getting through to them.

If anything you try to teach them will stick.

And miraculously, in the midst of a melt down because the hairdresser pulled out the electric trimmer just to 'get around the ears' your little one will say, "tank ewe" without being prompted, and probably because he's glad it's over, but nonetheless he'll say it.

And you'll die from all the cuteness just after your heart explodes from all the love.