A Tale of Two Sisters

Here is a transcription of what a conversation with my sisters would look like if I found a dead hooker in my bed:

Calling Older Sister...

Older Sister: Hello.

Me: Hey, listen you busy?

Older Sister: Yes, what do you need?

Me: Um, I've got a situation here and I am probably going to need some help.

Older Sister: Okay, spit it out already.

Me: There's a dead hooker in my bed.

Older Sister: Jesus Ashley. What did you do?

Me: Nothing, I have no idea how she got there.

Older Sister: How is that possible? What are you in to?

Me: I'm serious. I have no idea who she is, I woke up and there she was. I've never seen her before.

Older Sister: How do you get into these messes then? You had to have done something. Did you piss someone off?

Me: Really? I pissed someone off to the point they would put a dead hooker in my bed?

Older Sister: Well she didn't get there by herself, you must have done something. What do you expect me to do?

Me: Well, I was hoping you'd help me figure out what to do with her.

Older Sister: I'm the lunch lady at the boys school today...I don't have time to help you figure out how to get a dead hooker out of your bed. Have you called Little Sister?

Calling Little Sister...

Little Sister: What up!?

Me: Hey, listen, I found a dead hooker in my bed.

Little Sister: Daaaamn. That sucks. You know you're kind of a pain in the ass...I'll be right there.