We're RICH!

People keep a lot of wacky useless crap in their attics.

For mercies sakes an entire village in Africa could live on the crap my parents have in their attic which has overflowed into their garage and probably into their house which isn't going unnoticed by my mom...I'm talking to you Dad. No, really...you don't need 10,000,000,000 empty cardboard boxes I don't care how useful the varying sizes appear to be.

I keep waiting for TLC to feature them on Hoarders. Which is okay because they have enough boxes to pack that crap up to throw it away.

You know who else could be featured on Hoarders?

Husband.

He hoards Star Wars paraphernalia.

It isn't all his fault.

He loved Star Wars as a kid and since TNT runs a Star Wars movie marathon every Sunday, I get to watch them over, and over, and over, and over, and over.

It's awesome.

And they never get old. Ever.

It is also the 'go-to' gift when people don't know what to get him.

Which is like the perfect gift...if you're a seven year old.

Now that our storage count has gone up to five boxes, in a house with NO storage space, husband has sheepishly admitted that it may be time for people to quit with the Star Wars gifts. It might also have something to do with the fact that as an adult he prefers tools, gadgets, trips and an inordinate amount of Kellogg's cereal.

Now here's the funny thing.

Most of the Star Wars toys have never been opened. They are still in their originally packaging.

What the hell...what fun is having a whole bunch of action figures you can't play with?

The answer is none. None.

There is NOTHING fun about looking at a box you can't open which you know has cool stuff inside. It's like when you are dying of thirst and the only thing to drink is one of those bloody awful Capri Suns but you say screw it there's nothing else, even though you know, you KNOW, you will never be abe to get that stupid straw in that hole without somebody at Kraft being called a mother-f#$%er.

So for giggles I looked up on ebay the going rate of 'vintage' Star Wars action figures.

WHAT!

Here is where I humbly admit that I was wrong and go immediately to Expedia and book a trip to Hawaii.

Aloha!